Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Maybe we should just bring Chris Hansen in right now...

Disclaimer: I am not supporting the Jonas Brothers’ music. It’s not good…at all. I think the kid who sings and straightens his hair might be a smidgeon tone deaf. But I like the little one Nick. He’s got this real great Jim Morrison curly hair and pretty cool style (for a kid who wears girl jeans). If I had to chose one JoBro (as they are apparently called) to have, I would chose him. Alas, this can never happen. Ignoring the fact that I am not a Disney groupie and would never subject myself to one of their concerts, but in the hypothetical situation that I were to succeed in meeting and/or seducing Nick, I would most certainly go to jail due to our age difference. But this will never happen because this kid took a freaking abstinence pledge that he will never have sex until his wedding night. He must be having the most un-fun time as a rockstar ever. He’s got every girl (including Kim “I'm bringing booty back” Kardashian) crushing on him, but he doesn’t do anything with them. Can you imagine Paul McCartney telling girls back in 1964, “Oh, you want to have sex with me? Oh you, too? Well that’s all very sweet, but I’m going to have to say no to that. Would you like to play a game of Scrabble instead maybe?” No because Paul was normal and had sex with the tons of girls that wanted to have sex with him. Is it weird that I find Paul’s behavior the more acceptable of the two?
I am using the McCartney comparison because I am also dreadfully tired of the Jonas Brothers (oh, apparently they dropped the ‘the’…so I guess its just Jonas Brothers) being called “the most wholesome band since the Beatles.” Number one, aside from the very fact that their music is nothing alike, the Beatles and Jonas Brothers as people really ARE nothing alike. I would never call the Beatles “wholesome” just as I could never imagine these Jonas kids dropping acid or writing songs about lighting the apartment of a one-night-stand on fire. They write songs about instant messaging and unrequited crushes. Maybe Bob Dylan just needs to give them some weed like he did with the fab four in order to give ‘em some rockstar cred.

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