Let me just start off by saying YES, in the header I am quoting Snoop Dogg. (Err... I mean Snoop Lion, I guess. What's the protocol for referring to his career pre-name change?)
Now on to what I want to say: I fully acknowledge that I’ve been a grade-A louse when it comes to blogging. That doesn't mean that I don't have things I want to write about -- I have lots of ideas (too many, perhaps) that would make fun posts, but I lack the time to really pursue them. And as frustrated as that makes me, I'm also not very sad because I've spent my time doing some wonderful things. In the past year, I’ve been able to live in some amazing places including two of the most incredible cities in the world, London and New York City. I’ve studied, worked, traveled, seen and done so many things – it’s one of the first times in my life where I feel like I’ve really lived. Since starting my final year at university this fall, I’ve explored and developed interests in subjects that I’ve been invested in for years as well as entirely new fields and thoughts. I’ve written analysis comparing Bob Dylan’s lyrics to the work of Ralph Waldo Emerson, I’ve translated French poetry by T.S. Eliot, I’ve seen great films and read great books and listened to great music.
But I have also become restless – I am ready to start the next chapter of my life. For all the opportunities that it affords you, university life can be really stifling. Especially when you’re at a small school where everyone knows everyone. I’m ready to venture back out into the world and be anonymous. There’s honestly nothing more liberating than anonymity – feeling like I can do anything because no one will be there to judge or discuss my actions. I found that freedom in the places that I've lived this year, and because of that, I know little else about my future besides the fact that I want to be in NYC or London. I know that those cities are included in a lot of peoples’ plans, but I don’t just want it – I think I kind of need it. As I begin to really consider what I will do with my life (since Kanye still hasn’t proposed, y’all), I’ve been reevaluating a lot of things in my life as well. My relationships, my dreams, my interests … and this blog factors in to my thought processes. I love writing Dolly Rocker Girl but I don’t kid myself into thinking that I am the same obsessive girl who started this blog one holiday vacation because she needed to write posts compulsively in order to feel like she wouldn’t explode. It's been a few years since then, and things have changed. I have people to talk to now about interests and friends who know and care about what I say. I am no longer strictly interested in the 1960s – I find endless inspiration in the realms of the Aesthetes and the Modernists, punk rockers and grunge street artists. But I worry that these interests don’t mesh well with the original intent of DRG.
I know that this blog is mine to change, but I don’t want it to evolve into something so completely different from what it began as. I've toyed with different plans for the site, contemplating the addition of a personal style section and sometimes writing about people from different eras, but something I always loved about the blog was how singular the vision was. It was a niche focus -- a place where lovers of this specific moment in time could share their thoughts. In that regard, I don't want it to become something else. So there are options that everyone, but every blogger in particular, must face: to continue, to alter, or to abandon. I can continue with DRG as it has always been, I can change the blog to suit my fancies, I can start an entirely new blog altogether, or I can make a clean break from it all and turn off from the entire blogosphere.
I don’t know why I’m telling all (any?) of you this, but I feel like the people who I've met through this site and other blogs have always been incredibly honest with me, so it would be pretty lousy of me to not voice all the ... whatever ... that's going on in my head. I'm not making any choices, at least not right now. I'm going to end this on an incredibly pretentious note and quote some T.S. Eliot (a few lines that really resonate with me from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"): "And indeed there will be time / [...] And time yet for a hundred indecisions, / And for a hundred visions and revisions, / Before the taking of a toast and tea."
Title: from "Drop It Like It's Hot" (Snoop Dogg)